Doctor Who's Putrid Ham
A quest through the Dr Who novelisations
"The excellent ham of Doctor Who is more than a little off"
1974 Times Literary Supplement review of Doctor Who and the Crusaders (quoted from David J Howe's The Target Book)
"you wouldn’t have enough brains between you to make a wheelbarrow"
DOCTOR WHO AND THE SPACE WAR
by Malcolm Hulke
First published 23 September 1976 (1), between The Masque of Mandragora Parts Three and Four (2)
Height Attack
The Doctor is ‘a tall man with a head of tousled fair hair’
The Prison Governor is ‘a tall man in black tunic and trousers’
The Ogrons are ‘Huge man-like creatures with bald ape heads’ and it appears there’s one particular noteworthily ‘tall Ogron’
Hulke seems to cut loose and have fun here.
It doesn’t start that way, though – in fact, the early chapters are brutal. Little additions make a harsher future, one where transport cells are ‘just large enough for a prisoner to sit down, knees touching the metal door’ (3), the security services use starvation as an interrogation tool and Captain Gardiner knows better than to raise his objections too loudly (4), and prison governors definitely conspire to encourage and then kill escapees (5). Even the opening sequence, in which the crew of an attacked cargo ship question the value of endangering their lives for flour, explains the crew’s actions through a bleak hopelessness – they engage in combat because, certain they’re going to die anyway, their only satisfaction is to take others down with them (6).
These aren’t just little bits of grit. Increasingly, there’s a sense that this future-society is supported by a half-hidden, half-condoned underlayer of cruelty. The President is clearly queasy about use of the mind probe but only sufficiently to save one girl from its effects (7), and the technicians who operate it are ‘conditioned to have no feelings for prisoners’ (8), which acknowledges the lack of empathy necessary to employ such a device but also shows the lengths to which this society’s willing to go to stop that being an obstacle. Much might well be made of how Earth is a democracy (9), but it’s a democracy at the heart of an empire (Hulke even throws in the language of ‘dominion status’ to make sure the point isn’t lost (10)), with all the oppressive apparatus that involves.
Actually, much is made of Earth being a democracy, but Hulke goes out of his way to make it reminiscent of single-party states of the time. The Doctor’s stint in the lunar penal colony serves little plot function but provides the opportunity to paint an environment akin to Siberian labour camps, filled with political prisoners (11), detained for life (12) without proper trial (13), who pass the time in artistic pursuits (14) and maintain useful contacts back home (15). Cross’s sneering comment on Doughty’s ‘intellectual friends’ (16) fits too, while also hinting towards the Cultural Revolution. In the midst of the Cold War, this can only serve as a critique on Western powers’ view of themselves. How different are you and your enemy if you employ the same techniques? And what does it mean to call yourself a democracy if you marginalise and exile all dissident voices?
This would explain why the political systems of Earth and Draconia are made pretty much indistinguishable. Just as the President reflects that ‘If she failed to please her people they would replace her’ (17), so the Emperor is reminded that ‘Emperors have been disposed of before when they displeased the great Draconian families’ (18). Democracy and monarchy seem like odd choices to present as distinct modes of government (as Hulke does, describing Draconia as having ‘remained a monarchy’ despite ‘advance equal to Earth’s’ in other respects (19)) considering the UK has both, but maybe that’s just a ploy to reinforce the idea that the two sides are basically the same.
That taps into Hulke’s real concern here – how the perception of difference allows conflict. Each side is convinced that they’re utterly incomprehensible to the other, Draconians viewing humans as ‘inscrutable’ (20) and humans finding Draconian body language ‘impossible’ to read (21). Worse than that, they don’t expect to understand each other, so General Williams presses on with his belief in the Doctor and Jo’s guilt despite the ‘many holes in [his] argument’ (22), the President, despite finding it ‘hard to believe that such a proud people would have fabricated these claims’ (23), persists in believing the Draconians are lying, and the Ambassador’s musing on ‘why should the Earthmen produce such an elaborate lie?’ (24) never receives much consideration. It later transpires that the three-day war between the two empires (25) was triggered by just such attitudes. The humans ‘expected to meet an unarmed civilian ship like their own’ and so, on seeing a battle cruiser, immediately assumed ‘the Draconians were about to attack’ (26) – that’s not a misunderstanding, that’s a flagrant failure in basic research (27).
In some ways, though most likely because we see very little of Draconia, the Earth people are presented as the worse of the two parties. They did after all fire first to trigger the last war and the mass of the public are seen to be clamouring for a new conflict (28). They’re also shown to demean and dehumanise their enemy, slurring them as Dragons (29). And it’s not just rhetoric. The Doctor and Jo, when mistaken for Draconians, are imprisoned in the animal pen, with Hardy expressing he can see no difference between them and livestock (30). To top this off, he looks forward to the day when all Draconians have been ‘exterminated’ – it’s never a good sign when you sound like a Nazi, especially in the same breath as denying the humanity of another race.
This isn’t a natural, moral flaw but an attitude stirred up by the political structures of Earth. When the (hinted-to-be liberal) President is ‘disgusted’ by Brook’s use of the D-word in a TV interview, her reaction seems more fuelled by envy at her opponent’s freedom to ‘appeal to people’s emotions’ than because she finds his actual language repellent (31). Plus it’s just an extension of how the government treats its own ideological opponents, those in the lunar prison explicitly told they are ‘no longer people’ but ‘things’ (32). Cold War-style democracy functions by narrowing the definition of a citizen to those who conform to the government’s outlook and is clearly of a piece with imperial Britain, Stalin’s USSR, Mao’s China and Nazi Germany.
But that doesn’t mean Hulke’s attacking democracy itself. It is the Earth president who manages to resolve the situation, and she does it in a way the Draconians couldn’t – allowing different voices to be heard (33). Before this point, the two sides have skirted around each other, maintaining a polite but ‘meaningless’ diplomacy (34), but once the President decides ‘It’s time everything was discussed openly’, General Williams suddenly understands his errors (35) and humans and Draconians are able to work together and prevent war. It’s a little glimmer of light that’s almost immediately undercut. As they depart for the Ogron planet, the Doctor asks for the release of the political prisoners on the moon (36). The President agrees but only on condition of ‘a secure peace’ (indeed, the Doctor only bothers to ask on the condition that ‘war is averted’ – he knows the limits of her tolerance). Hulke is almost conceding that freedom of speech and true political opposition cannot survive periods of international tension.
However, in the middle of all this bleak rumination on the impossibility of a virtuous society, the Master turns up (37) to lighten the mood.
Rob Shearman, looking at the TV episodes, identifies this as the moment when the ‘edge’ of the early episodes melts away and the audience is ‘reassured’ (38). From this point on, there’s the hint of romp in the air. The change of gears is even more enthusiastic in prose, with the chief beneficiaries of Hulke’s more fun-loving side being the Ogrons. As the book goes on, they become more and more prominent and, though Jo may warn they’re not ‘as stupid as they look’ (39), they mostly are. They eagerly swallow down food, ‘tin-foil and all’ (40), proclaim ‘Food is good’ and encourage Jo to eat well so she can ‘become Ogron wife’ (41) and employ such blunt yet not-quite-right threats such as ‘You keep quiet or I fill mouth with fist’ (42).
It could all be quite mean-spirited (and it does sometimes goes too far, the text casually referring to them as ‘stupidly savage’ (43) with ‘midget minds’ (44) and strongly implying they ‘smell’ (45)), were they not so clearly preferable to the Draconians and the Master. It helps that Jo clearly likes them, almost mothering the one she tries to feed, and the relationship between Jo, the Ogron prisoner and a Draconian guard is quite instructive. The cunning captive, who bends his prison bars while the guard isn’t looking, slinks ‘into a corner, innocently taking further items from the food container’ (46) in what sounds so exaggerated a manner he may as well be whistling and looking skyward. It’s actually the Draconians’ prejudice, rather than any cunning on the Ogron’s part, that allows the Ogron’s plan to work, the guard ignoring the advice of a woman and viewing his prisoner as a simple ‘ape-like creature’. He even facilitates Jo’s kidnap, refusing her help (47) and insisting on keeping his gun even as he’s incapable of using it (48).
This taps into the wider attitudes of the Draconians towards women, introduced in the Emperor’s throne room where ‘No female may speak’ (49). Their culture is immediately diminished by its adherence to such a ‘stupid rule’ and by their inability to enforce it – as Jo continues to join in the conversation, the Prince is reduced to impotent screaming (50) – looking rather childish next to Jo’s rather sharp and measured declaration that she’ll ‘try and control my natural tendency to expect to be regarded as an equal’ – and the Emperor simply forgets (51), what with Jo offering more valuable contributions than most of the men. They come off like comical husbands from a 70s sitcom, Jo lamenting how they must ‘treat [their] poor wives’ (52), with their jolly insistence on persisting with self-defeating statements, the Prince maintaining at the end that Jo could be ‘a very nice person’ if only she learnt ‘to be silent’ (53) even as his appreciation of her is entirely dependent on failure to be mute.
The Ogrons also show up the Master. He may throw the wonderful put-down ‘Without me you wouldn’t have enough brains between you to make a wheelbarrow’ at them (54), but they get to completely undercut the overcomplicated manner in which he constantly operates, rewarding his convoluted explanation of how he tracked down the Doctor with a pause and a pithy ‘How you know all this when you not talk to them?’ (55), rather puncturing his seeming need to show off to them.
Like the Draconians, he’s utterly ridiculous. He employs the remarkable alias ‘Special Commissioner Master’ (56), he looks breathlessly forward to ‘A really exciting space-war’ (57) and pointlessly boasts his ‘genius’ in front of the Ogrons when all he’s done is a spot of impersonation (58). His arrival brings actual ‘joy’ to his adversaries (59), which must be a kick in the teeth. On top of all that, we get to see what a fundamentally ‘vain man’ the Master is, admiring ‘his athletic figure’ as it’s complemented by a ‘simple tunic’ (60) and taking every opportunity to flash his ‘perfect white teeth’ (61), and how that feeds into his being ‘wholly evil’ (62) – like a slick businessman, his view of ambition is no different to selfishness, a matter of competition rather than fulfilment, and he can’t quite differentiate charm and nastiness (63).
But he’s not just a bit of fun. There’s a genuinely chilling moment when he explains to Jo how she is ‘totally useless’ to him and that he’s not a man to feel any ‘touch of pity for the innocent victim’ so she’d better do as he asks or ‘stop existing’ (64). This moment of transparent psychopathy mixed in with all the bonhomie does a lot to maintain the Master’s dignity. He might only get to appear in the silly half of the book, but it’s a little reminder that he was the man behind the harsh world of the first half – all that fear and paranoia that turned Earth into a bureaucratic nightmare was but a side effect of the Master’s ‘relentless quest for personal power’ (65). The change of tone that came with his arrival becomes a sign of his dominance over the story rather than a symptom of the reassuring simplicity of his villainy.
This is a deliberate ploy on Hulke’s part. Though the Master is due a return in Doctor Who and the Claws of Axos, ‘Frontier in Space’ was Roger Delgado’s last appearance before his fatal car accident and, though Target may have been motivated to get this adventure adapted by the character’s upcoming return in ‘The Deadly Assassin’, there’s evidence Hulke is more concerned with giving Delgado’s portrayal a fitting send-off. He rewrites much of the ending, even compared with what it might have been before Letts, took his scissors to anything involving the orange bollock monster (66), to give the Master some semblance of a conclusion. After all the confusion of the TV climax, we get to see ‘His old spirit [...] returning’ (67) and two wistful cast-forwards to an eternal future (68), the latter closing the book.
Tory Who
As tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Doctor_Who_and_the_Space_War_(novelisation) points out: ‘Patel is renamed Doughty and is described as fair-haired rather than of Indian descent’
There’s something sourly Victorian about the President’s still pining for Williams many years after they broke up: ‘she opened the old-fashioned silver locket that hung from her simple necklace. The tiny photograph of General Williams, then a mere lieutenant and only twenty years old, looked up at her’
Hulkisms
‘Jo Grant had always wanted to be a lady spy, and hoped that her uncle, an important Civil Servant, would help her achieve that ambition. Instead he had her employed by UNIT, the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, where Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart seconded her as the Doctor’s general assistant because he couldn’t think what else to do with her’ – breaking the policy of just introducing companions as attractive young ladies and then moving on. And then, when he does it a bit with the President of Earth – ‘She was an attractive woman in her forties, very feminine in her long pink robes, and her intelligent face suggested great inner strength’ – he also does it even more completely with General Williams – ‘a strikingly handsome man just a few years older than herself’
‘For the Doctor this was an entirely unexpected development. He had met the Ogrons more than once in his travels, great hulking brutes with minds little more advanced than Earth’s early cave-men. As he recalled, Ogrons had neither the wit nor cunning to get up to any devilry of their own, though they had been used by the Daleks and other advanced Space species to do their dirty work’ – no asterisk for Doctor Who and the Day of the Daleks I notice. He really won’t cite others’ books, even as he manages to squeeze a cross-promotional reference to Doctor Who and the Sea-Devils later: ‘What a pity you found out about my little conspiracy with the Sea-Devils.* With their help I could have enslaved the whole of your precious planet Earth!’
Just a nice Hulke line: ‘Hardy retorted with all the force of a man who having told a lie was now in the enviable position of being able to tell the truth—or what he believed was the truth’
Hulke on war: ‘“The thought of war always excites people.” “When they have so much to lose?” said the Draconian Prince. “Even their own lives?” “When in history have people thought about that, Your Highness? People enter war always thinking that they will win, and that they personally will survive”’
1 tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Doctor_Who_and_the_Space_War_(novelisation)
3 ‘The penal spaceship shuttle was windowless, a series of tiny cells just large enough for a prisoner to sit down, knees touching the metal door’
4 ‘The Captain lowered his voice. Guards stood outside the open door. “I didn’t like this business about starving you”’
5 ‘It was the Governor’s proud boast that no prisoner had ever escaped and that most of those who tried died in the attempt, a fact that deterred the majority of prisoners from even contemplating a break-out. To maintain an atmosphere of futility, a few of the trusted guards were under instructions to co-operate with occasional escape attempts, then help to kill the escapers’ – this is also strongly implied on TV, but it’s clear onscreen that Dale survives which I think it’s implied he doesn’t in the book: ‘Professor Dale lay gasping on the floor, his face blue’
6 ‘“‘Going to be a hero for a cargo of flour?” “I’m going to kill a Dragon before they kill us”’
7 ‘The President had once seen the mind probe used on a prisoner. She shook her head. “Not on the girl”’ – though she is also reluctant on TV
8 ‘Reluctantly the technician turned the controls of the mind probe. He was conditioned to have no feelings for prisoners, but he knew from experience that the full force of the mind probe could quickly destroy human brain cells, rendering a prisoner imbecile and useless for further questioning’ – so, is that why he’s reluctant rather than any glimmer of humanity? Hulke dangles the idea that people in the future might actually care and then reveals they’re just worried about being inefficient
9 ‘Earth is a democracy. I cannot tell my people what to think’
10 ‘Once a colony has been raised to dominion status, it enjoys certain autonomous rights, including the right to try and punish its own citizens’ –this is the British Empire
11 ‘But you’re political, aren’t you?’
12 ‘Remember that you are here for the rest of your lives’
13 ‘“Without a trial? With no chance to state my case? I thought Earth was a democracy.” “The public trial of a Draconian agent,” said the President, “will only increase the existing demand for war with Draconia. If at some later time you decide to help us by confessing everything, I may consider releasing you”’
14 ‘We go to bed when we feel like it. Food, that is to say tasteless soup, is served at regular intervals. We pass the time playing three-dimensional chess, listening to audio-books, pursuing handicrafts, and forming discussion groups’
15 Professor Dale: ‘We have important contacts everywhere. Journalists, broadcasters, even some friends in the Government. I’ll make them believe you’
16 ‘You’ll find a lot of your intellectual friends up here’
17 ‘If she failed to please her people they would replace her; once out of office, she could never hope to achieve the good things that she wanted to do for Earth’
18 ‘the nobles of the Court are demanding action. The throne depends upon their support. Emperors have been disposed of before when they displeased the great Draconian families’
19 ‘The planet Draconia, despite technical advance equal to Earth’s, had remained a monarchy with an Emperor, princes, and a Royal Court’
20 ‘Their ways are devious, Your Highness. They are an inscrutable species’
21 ‘It was impossible for the President to tell if the Prince was angry. Draconian green faces were incapable of turning red. Yet by the Prince’s sudden movement, holding back his head so that the dragon snout protruded pugnaciously, he was clearly very annoyed’ – though if Hulke really did rely on the colour of people’s faces to read their emotions, he must have found day-to-day life quite tricky
22 ‘“why did the Draconians leave them on the cargo ship after the attack?” […] He had not given much thought to these possibilities […] “They thought these two would soon be loose within Earth society to spy for them.” He knew there were many holes in this argument’
23 ‘Though she had denied the Draconians’ allegations, it was hard to believe that such a proud people would have fabricated these claims that Earthmen were attacking their spaceships’
24 ‘“I ask myself,” said the Ambassador, “why should the Earthmen produce such an elaborate lie?”’
25 ‘The Draconian Empire instantly declared war on Earth. It was a full-scale war of inter-stellar ballistic missiles and lasted three days, killing over five hundred million Draconians and Earthmen’
26 ‘They expected to meet an unarmed civilian ship like their own; instead, the Draconian ship approaching was a fully armed battle cruiser. Williams could get no answer to his signals to the approaching ship. Convinced that the Draconians were about to attack, he blasted the battle cruiser with the retrorockets of the unarmed Earth ship. The Draconians’ power source exploded’
27 ‘“why did you send a battle cruiser to meet a peace mission? The agreement was that both ships should be unarmed.” “Naturally we sent a battle cruiser,” replied the Prince. “How else should a Draconian nobleman travel? But its missile banks were empty. The ship was unarmed”’
**As a quick sidestep, it’s worth making clear which specific conflict might have been on Hulke’s mind, what with US influence having finally been chased out of Vietnam the year before. It’s not so much that Doctor Who and the Space War is a direct commentary on that conflict, but the US-Vietnam war and its rhetoric feels like the prism through which he’s reflecting on war. We’ve already seen Hulke address how the rallying cry of democracy can hide a support for autocratic practices and how fundamental ignorance of the other side allows tension to become outright war but there are also more specific echoes, like the faith in shows of military strength General Williams holds (‘Once they see we mean business they’ll back down’), or the manner in which a President with a huge mandate ‘to achieve […] good things’ domestically is caught between standing ‘for peace and compromise’ and a military that wants ‘an aggressive inter-stellar policy’**
28 ‘there have been anti-Draconian riots in Tokyo and Belgrade, and the Draconian Consulate in Helsinki has been burnt to the ground. In Los Angeles demonstrators burnt an effigy of you’
29 ‘Draconians. Dragons is a rather unflattering nickname the Earth people use’
30 ‘“‘But we aren’t animals,” Jo protested. “You’re Dragons,” said Hardy. “What’s the difference? The sooner your lot are exterminated, the better”’ – I get the idea here, but it does make him sound like he’s just got unusually hardline views regarding livestock
31 ‘“Since the days of St George, Earthmen have been perfectly capable of putting Dragons in their place.” The President pressed the button again and the television screen vanished. She was disgusted by Brook’s use of the word ‘Dragons’, a direct appeal to people’s emotions. Because Brook had no power on Earth, he could say anything he pleased that might gain him votes. The President, however, had always to observe the diplomatic niceties’
32 Prison Governor: ‘You are no longer people, you are things—my playthings. You have absolutely no rights, and there is no means of escape. Remember that you are here for the rest of your lives’
33 ‘The President raised a hand to silence the Doctor. “No, I want these things to be said. It’s time everything was discussed openly”’
34 ‘the Prince bowed stiffly and mumbled the meaningless diplomatic farewell of the twenty-sixth century’
35 ‘The General’s face paled. “If this is true, then I am solely responsible for starting a war that killed millions of people, Earthmen and Draconians”’ – Though it is a bit quick and easy
36 It’s a very conditional request and promise: ‘“on the Moon you have thousands of prisoners, many of them good people whose only crime was that they believed in peace. If war is averted will you release them?” The President considered. “Doctor, if we can eliminate the threat of war we can also live in peace among ourselves. In a secure peace I imagine my Government would rather have those people here on Earth, contributing their skills to our society, than exiled to the Moon”’
37 Literally: Chapter 7 of 12 bears his name and sees him enter. It’s titled ‘The Master entered’
38 ‘The first three episodes of Frontier in Space had an edge to them, as the Doctor found himself impotent before the bureaucracy of a hostile government. Once the Master pops up, we’re reassured’
Toby Hadoke and Robert Shearman, Running Through Corridors 2
39 ‘“You want to be careful. They’re not as stupid as they look.” The guard ignored her’
40 ‘He prised open the lid, picked an item wrapped in tin-foil and put it down his mouth. “You’re supposed to unwrap the stuff first,” Jo warned. But the Ogron had already swallowed and was now stuffing his mouth full with another item from the container, tin-foil and all’
41 ‘The Ogron rubbed his stomach. “Food is good.” “Fabulous,” she said. “You eat good, get big, become Ogron wife”’
42 ‘You keep quiet or I fill mouth with fist’
43 ‘the stupidly savage Ogrons’
44 ‘The terrible sound roaring through their midget minds, the Ogrons saw the shape of the Doctor blur before their eyes’
45 ‘the sight and smell of the other Ogrons’
46 ‘The Draconian guard, bored by his task of watching over the ape-like creature in the cage, crossed to a port hole and looked out. While the guard had his back turned, the Ogron took the opportunity to match his strength against the bars of the cage. Exerting great force he fractionally bent two bars, widening the gap between them. The guard turned back from the port-hole. The Ogron slunk into a corner, innocently taking further items from the food container’
47 ‘“Let me help you.” Jo took one of the Draconian’s arms, but he shook her away. “Females do not help”’
48 ‘“If you can’t move, tell me how to use your blaster gun[…”.] The Draconian’s reaction was automatic, a reflex from military training never to allow someone else to touch his weapon’
49 ‘“Silence! No female may speak in the presence of the Emperor.” Jo said, “What a stupid rule. Still, anything to oblige”’ – I love the way the dismissal of the Draconians’ prejudice is so casual. ‘What a stupid rule’ refuses to even engage with any reasons the Draconians might have, outright declaring that they can’t be worthy of consideration if that was their result
50 ‘“What cheek!” Jo exclaimed. She pulled a face. “Oh, sorry, I forgot that mere females aren’t allowed to speak in His Majesty’s most regal and high-and-mighty presence, so I’ll try and control my natural tendency to expect to be regarded as an equal even though I am just a girl—“ “Silence!” screamed the Prince’
51 ‘“Your Majesty, what do you see lying on the floor here?” Forgetting the rule that no female might speak in his presence, the old Emperor looked at the prostrate Ogron’
52 ‘I know—females are not allowed to speak. I can’t imagine how you treat your poor wives’
53 ‘You must educate her to be silent, then she will be a very nice person’ – I don’t even know what this means. It reads like he’s suggesting Jo should be an adornment rather than an active person but that feels odd coming from a member of another species (though it won’t be quite so odd once Peri shows up). It quickly follows up the rather wonderful line: ‘The female with whom you travel, the one who talks’
54 ‘Without me you wouldn’t have enough brains between you to make a wheelbarrow’
55 ‘“I worked it all out. Once they realised they’d got one of you lot as prisoner, their first thought would be to take him to Earth to show the President. Then they’d realise that a Draconian space ship entering Earth Space at this time would be destroyed out of hand, so they would use the Earth police ship that I inadvertently provided them.” One of the Ogrons frowned, deep furrows appearing on his sloping primitive forehead. “How you know all this when you not talk to them?”’
56 ‘Allow me to present my credentials as Special Commissioner Master’ – and you though Ainley’s anagrams were poor
57 ‘A really exciting space-war will leave an inter-stellar power vacuum which I shall fill’ – everyone’s a child in this
58 ‘“How you make voice different?” “Because I’m a genius,” replied the Master’ – a genius shared only by Mike Yarwood
59 ‘her immediate reaction was joy at seeing a familiar face’
60 ‘A vain man, he was particularly pleased how well the simple tunic of metallic orange fitted his athletic figure’ – evil!
61 ‘He smiled, flashing perfect white teeth’ – evil!
62 ‘the Master who was wholly evil’ – evil!
63 ‘“Why are you always so nasty?” “I thought I was charming!” He laughed, a quick, hard laugh. “You are cruel and unkind and never think about anyone but yourself,” she said emphatically. “You’re bad and you know it” […] “Shall we agree that I’m very ambitious?”’ – see: charm, ambition and evil are all the same thing
64 ‘“although the Doctor may be useful to me, you are totally useless. There are men with an eye for a girl with a pretty face, adventurers with a touch of pity for the innocent victim of a situation. I am not one of those men.” His voice became menacing. “Come out of that cage in five seconds or stop existing!”’ – that final threat, that Jo’ll ‘stop existing’ could come off a bit sci-fi but, in the context that he really couldn’t care less about her, it is actually quite menacing because it reinforces how insignificant the difference between other life and inanimate objects is to him
65 ‘the Master had used his wisdom and intelligence to spread fear and evil in his relentless quest for personal power’
66 ‘Letts decided to minimise the use of the Eater as much as possible, and so new material -- featuring only the Doctor and Jo -- was written which could be edited into the climax’
Shannon Sullivan, A Brief History of Time (Travel), www.shannonsullivan.com/drwho/serials/qqq.html
67 As he backs away at gunpoint from the Tardis – ‘His old spirit was already returning and a smile touched his lips’
68 ‘The Master grinned. “Perhaps we shall meet again, Doctor”’ AND ‘Then he went back to his big table and started to collect his star charts and other papers. “Oh well,” he said to himself, “there’s always tomorrow”’
Proto-L’Officier
‘the TARDIS was a highly-advanced Time and Space ship, designed and built by the Time Lords’ AND ‘The other fault was that TARDISES were designed to change their appearance on arrival so as to fit in with the local background. On the Doctor’s first trip the TARDIS worked well enough to make itself look like a police box, but after that its appearance never changed again’ – this is Programme Guide Stuff again. Was it a matter of editorial policy?
Daleks: ‘they’re not machines, not exactly. They are what remains of one of the greatest species of the galaxy. Unfortunately they turned to war, a terrible conflict of nuclear weapons. It backfired on them. Through mutation they started to decay. Realising that soon only their brains would be left, they devised these mobile domes that you see now all around us. In their bitterness they became the most vicious, ruthless creatures ever to live in Space. They are my most deadly enemies’
Revenge of the Educational Remit
‘The basis of rocket propulsion in the vacuum of Space was that the release of energy in one direction caused the source of that energy, for instance a spaceship, to move in the opposite direction’
Miscellania
‘The year 2540’ – good to get that straight
‘Doctor Who, himself a Time Lord’ – it’s been a while
‘Of all the monsters Jo had encountered, the Drashig filled her with most terror’ – why them in particular? And her fear is really paralysingly acute, refusing to even remember the incident in which she briefly saw what she now knows wasn’t really a Drashig: ‘Jo suddenly went white with fear and cowered away from the door. “No, I don’t want to remember!”’
‘“My snout!” exclaimed the Doctor, aware that he was rather good looking’ – is this a dig at Pertwee?
Jo’s home: ‘It could be my own bedroom with clean white sheets and a stereo in the corner and colour television and a hot bath’
Hulke gives humanity a pompous formal farewell to mirror the Draconians’ greeting (‘My life at your command’): ‘“May you live a long life and may energy shine on you from a million suns” […] “And may water, oxygen and plutonium be found in abundance wherever you land”’ - but it’s even worse. It’s longer, it has less meaning and it suggests a prizing of avarice above all. And surely he can’t have expected the blessing of lots of very near plutonium to have come across favourably?
‘sometimes vehicles flashed by in the opposite direction, huge buses packed with people, but there were no small individually driven cars, as Jo was used to in her time in history’ – is that good because it’s more environmentally friendly or bad because the people are ‘packed’ in like sardines?
‘the interior had been decorated in Draconian style. Clever interior designers had refashioned some of the walls to make then curve in the way Draconian eyes found pleasant. The pre-dominant colour of the paintwork and also the curved, rounded furniture was green’ – is this a send-up of Brits’ love of beige walls?
‘a few stunted trees’ – does he mean bonsai? Is it a clue?
The President tells the Prince: ‘Our nations are very different’ – planets are nations?
‘We have mind-probing machines just as efficient as those used by Earthmen’ is a very odd boast from a people who apparently ‘do not tell lies’
I don’t know if it’s deliberate or not but the Draconian system in which ‘Only noblemen may express opinions’ doesn’t sound too unlike the Earth system in which those with contrary opinions are exiled
Hulke’s not very invested in the last-minute twist: ‘He could see them in his imagination, gliding forward to take a closer look at his catch, chattering in the soulless, metallic voices. “Stupid pepper pots!” he said to himself with a grin. “Stupid Daleks!”’ – but he also doesn’t use this reveal at all. The Daleks are largely forgotten until their appearance at the end. Does he just think readers will know from TV? Does he think the Ogrons are too much of a giveaway now it’s clear they never appeared without the Daleks?
The Master to Jo: ‘I’ve tried hypnotising you before now but you fail to respond’ – When? Then he looks at his hypno-box: ‘I doubt that would work on you a second time’ – Hulke just quietly ditches Jo’s big moment of triumph!
‘The Doctor, who had refused the offer of a weapon, found himself behind a stumpy bush with the Draconian Prince’ – not like on telly then – ‘“Thank you. Doctor,” called the Master. “Always the good pacifist”’ – really not like on telly
‘the Dalek looked menacingly at him through the bars’ – is that possible?
‘When he dies I want to see the surprised look on his face’ – the Master’s back to genuinely only wanting to kill the Doctor in convoluted ways
Couple of insights into Ogron society: ‘‘O Great Mighty One, I bring you food. Eat well of what we give. Allow us to share your planet. Do not eat Ogrons’ AND ‘At one point they passed an Ogron suspended from the rocky ceiling by heavy chains. “Him bad Ogron,” Jo’s guard explained. “Stole food from holy place.” “How long’s he going to hang like that?” “Till too weak to run. Then we give him to big lizard”’