Doctor Who's Putrid Ham
A quest through the Dr Who novelisations
"The excellent ham of Doctor Who is more than a little off"
1974 Times Literary Supplement review of Doctor Who and the Crusaders (quoted from David J Howe's The Target Book)
"In certain times, and in certain places, magic worked"
DOCTOR WHO AND THE IMAGE OF THE FENDAHL
by Terrance Dicks
First published 26 July 1979 (1), between The Armageddon Factor and Destiny of the Daleks (2)
As far as I can tell, this is purely an insertion by Dicks: ‘In certain times, and in certain places, magic worked’. Now, this isn’t hugely different to what happens on TV, where a time fissure such as the one in Fetchborough wood allows the natives ‘telepathy and precognition’ (3), but the broadcast episodes hint that it’s necessary to bring together the Fendahl skull, the time scanner and the fissure to start getting odd effects (4), hence Mrs Tyler’s visions begin to come true only once this has been achieved (5). In Dicks’s novelisations, it seems those visions always ‘invariably came true’ (6).
What makes this stick out all the more is the fact that ‘Image of the Fendahl’ is such a, as Lawrence Miles and Tat Wood put it, ‘von Daniken / Nigel Kneale’ confection (10) – a story in which early extraterrestrial contact is revealed to have been significant in humanity’s development with a superstition or two explained as ancient wisdom made murky through generations of Chinese whispers (such practices then turning out useful in countering the resurgent alien menace). In ‘Image of the Fendahl’, this pattern plays out through the skull’s presence on Earth explaining ‘the darker side of man’s nature’ (11) and ‘the origin of throwing salt over your shoulder’ hypothesised as deriving from its destructive effect on the Fendahleen (12). It’s a story type which absolutely doesn’t fit with the suggestion, on top of all this, there’s also actual magic to contend with.
To explain why, it helps to pick apart something else Miles and Wood write. They describe von Daniken/Kneale-type stories as typically exposing ‘all the shamans and astrologers [as] charlatans’ and show the scientists to have been ‘on the right track’ all along (13), which seems an odd thing to say about a genre which typically reveals all the shamans’ and astrologers’ practices to have had a perfectly reasonable and useful origin which had been ignored by the scientists until almost too late. Scientists, however, have the right way of interpreting the world – the Fendahl, for example, might well seem mystical, little more than a ‘darkness’, ‘a cloud of evil’ (14), a personification of death itself (15), but it is a simple product of evolution just like every other creature (16). The purpose of these stories is to emphasise that superstitious worldviews are fundamentally misguided and that anything right they may have picked up, like, say, the protective qualities of salt, will have a scientific(-style) explanation involving, say, ‘electrical balance’ and ‘osmotic pressures’. If magic exists, that whole purpose is gone.
Now, Miles and Wood also say there’s ‘an unusual level of doubt in the script’ when it comes to how scientifically explicable the events of the story are, so it might be that Dicks is just amping up something that was already in the air on TV. Specifically, they view the Doctor as giving ‘three different explanations’ for the Fendahl, ‘one quasi-mystical, one using modern scientific terminology and one putting everything down to […] coincidence’ (17). This refers to the attribution of humanity’s darker nature to the Fendahl, the idea that the Fendahl influenced specific individuals whose descendants then carried ‘the instincts and compulsions’ to help it (18) and the resigned suggestion that it ‘all be coincidence’ (19). If we’re looking for suggestions that the scripts are actually embracing the mystical, it’s telling that the second option doesn’t sound especially more scientific than the first. The key though is Miles and Wood’s specification of ‘scientific terminology’ instead of science – it might be a bollocks vision of how inheritance works, but it’s still using the idea of genetics to ground it in the scientific rather than the magical world. Thing is, that applies just as well to the Doctor’s first explanation, which explicitly references humanity’s ‘evolution’.
And it’s not just the broadcast episodes that offer little scope for the embrace of magic in ‘Image of the Fendahl’. The beefed-up background the novelisation gives Max Stael suggests Dicks is heading in a different direction too. He chooses the ‘occult’ (20) as his path to ‘personal power’ (21) because the other available routes, ‘politics […] science or business’ (22), are beyond him. This could suggest that magic is as solid a pursuit as these other fields, his study of it no different to his ‘medical qualification’ or ‘other degrees’ (23), in no way an odd fit with his ‘stiff’ and starchy military demeanour (24). Trouble is, Stael is just as much a tool for the Fendahl’s return as anyone else (25), which means his actions, including his study of the occult and pursuit of power through magic, are nothing but the already pseudo-scientifically explained manipulations of the alien power which lead not to Stael’s dominion over the rest of humanity but, were it not for the Doctor giving him the gun he can’t reach himself (26), Stael becoming Fendahleen-fodder along with the rest of his coven (27).
There’s another factor that also pulls away from Stael’s belief in magic having any narrative weight – he’s mad. Now, it’s one thing to get called mad by Colby (28), it’s another to get called mad by Fendelman (29), but it’s of a whole different order when the prose itself gets in on the act (30). What’s more, he doesn’t even get the dignity of it being a personality trait peculiar to him, Colby merrily labelling Fendelman mad for much of the story (31) – clearly madness is just a sign that you’re part of the Fendahl’s plans (32). On top of this, the revelation of ‘a distinguished Austrian scientist’ for a father (33) brings up echoes of Hitler and the Nazi’s interest in the occult, which doesn’t exactly tilt the scales back in favour of Stael’s sanity (34).
So where does that leave magic? Well, it should be acknowledged that the statement that magic can, in the right context, work was in Stael’s head, and he goes on to dismiss his use of word (35). His clarifications, though, don’t really fit the von Daniken/ Kneale model: harnessing ‘the psychic energy of the mind’ isn’t pseudo-scientific in the same way as explanations elsewhere in the book as ‘psychic energy’ isn’t scientific terminology and harnessing ‘the powers that ruled the entire cosmos’ is frankly as mystical a turn of phrase as magic. Rather than sharpening the ‘doubt’ that Miles and Wood sensed in the script, Dick’s choice of vocabulary seems designed to eliminate it. Stael’s identification of what he’s engaged in as magic, and even more his instinctive retreat from the word only to substitute it with meaningless twaddle, works to diminish him and to shut down any hint that there’s anything inexplicable going on here. As such, the book’s ten mentions of magic where the broadcast episodes made none starts to look a bit mean-spirited, an attempt to stamp out the entertainment of ‘different perspectives’ with which Miles and Wood felt Boucher was dallying (36).
Predictably, one of the upshots of Dicks’s slamming of magic is a dismissal of Leela’s role in the series. It’s not so much the fact she still believes in magic, but that she does so ‘despite all the Doctor’s efforts’ (37) that’s significant. This could be read as an assertion of her identity despite the Doctor’s overbearing tutelage, were it not for the way her life as a hunter also gets sent up, doing ‘a little scouting around’ simply because she’s ‘too restless to settle’ (38) and because, since ‘She enjoyed that sort of thing’, the Doctor felt it would be ‘a pity to deprive her’ (39). To cap it all, there’s the bit where, remembering the Doctor’s dislike for killing, she knocks out a guard instead of knifing him a feels ‘rather proud of herself’, reflecting, and Dicks ensures a comical tone with his twin modifiers and an exclamation mark, how ‘she was really getting quite civilised!’ (40). To be fair on Dicks, Leela, as Rob Shearman observes, isn’t best handled by Boucher either, her character regressing to the state of her first few stories (41), but at least the TV episodes left Shearman with the feeling that both Leela and the Doctor had been oddly served (42).
Which, tortuously, might just bring us to the point of all this. Shearman also comments on how the Doctor is ‘sidelined from the adventure’ for much of its duration, ‘punished […] for his irrelevance’ to this dark, mystical tale (43). Dicks’s repeated evocation and ridicule of magic and those who credit it, and the accordant increased emphasis on how explicable everything is if just viewed by the right scientific mind, serves to shore up the Doctor’s position, to double down on the need for his presence in the story. It seems, in the long gap between seasons 16 and 17, that Dicks has finally resigned himself to idea that the audience now shares Tom Baker’s view that there’s only one reason they keep coming back to Doctor Who.
1 Based on the Popular Television Series, ed. Paul Smith
2 epguides.com/DoctorWho
3 ‘telepathy and precognition are normal in anyone whose childhood was spent near a time fissure, like the one in the wood’
chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/15-3.htm
4 ‘The skull's absorbing the energy released when the scanner beam damages the time fissure’
chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/15-3.htm
5 STAEL: Ever since Mrs Tyler's visions began to come true
chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/15-3.htm
6 ‘Ever since I realised that Mrs Tyler’s visions invariably came true’
10 ‘teaching us that most of the secrets of the ancient world were down to aliens? “Image of the Fendahl” [caps this trend] upping the von Daniken / Nigel Kneale ante, and attempting to explain away most of human history in the course of 95 minutes’
Lawrence Miles and Tat Wood, About Time 4; p.175
11 ‘I am saying that it may well have affected his evolution. That would explain the darker side of man’s nature. Just a theory of course!’
12 ‘“Sodium chloride obviously affects conductivity, destroys the overall electrical balance, and prevents control of localised disruption of osmotic pressures.” “You mean salt kills them!” translated Leela. “That’s what I said. It’s probably the origin of throwing salt over your shoulder”’
13 ‘there’s an unusual level of doubt in this script. Gone are the days when all the shamans and astrologers were charlatans, and all the scientists were on the right track’
Lawrence Miles and Tat Wood, About Time 4; p.175
14 ‘I feel darkness down there—’tis like a cloud of evil...’
15 ‘The Fendahl is death’
16 ‘Natural selection turned back on itself. A creature evolved which prospered by absorbing the energy waves of life itself?’
17 ‘in the course of a single scene, the Doctor gives three different explanations for the return of the Fendahl, one quasi-mystical, one using modern scientific terminology and one putting everything down to an enormous coincidence’
Lawrence Miles and Tat Wood, About Time 4; p.175
18 ‘the Fendahl built into the brains of some individuals the instincts and compulsions necessary to bring about its re-creation. They were passed through the generations until they reached Fendleman and people like him’
19 ‘on the other hand, it could all be coincidence’
20 ‘Max Stael had even made a study of it—the occult was a hobby of his’
21 ‘Stael developed one bitter resolve. If he could not be part of humanity, then he would rule it instead. He developed a ruthless obsession with the search for personal power’
22 ‘His coldness and lack of popularity ruled out politics. He soon realised that he had not the gift of true genius either in science or business. (Privately he hated and envied Fendleman, who had both.)’
23 ‘Stael was the only one amongst them with a medical qualification in addition to his other degrees’
24 ‘Max Stael appeared, looking round the untidy laboratory with distaste, like a Prussian Officer on the parade ground. His stiff Germanic good looks reflected his stiff Germanic character’
25 ‘“Only for this moment have the generations of my fathers lived... I have been used,” screamed Fendleman. “You are being used. Mankind has been used...”’
26 ‘The Doctor hesitated. But even Stael had the right to die while he was still human. The Doctor edged slowly over to the altar, where the gun lay incongruously beside the blazing skull. He snatched it up and hurried back to Stael, pressing the revolver into his hand’
27 ‘they need to create twelve in the cellar... But Stael killed himself, so there can only be eleven...’
28 Twice: ‘Colby realised that Stael was completely mad’ AND ‘He had died in the cellar, killed by the madman Stael’
29 ‘He is a madman!’
30 ‘“You do?” asked Stael in a soft, mad voice’
31 ‘“Because you’re mad, Fendleman!” Colby stopped short, as if realising that the charge made in the heat of his anger might actually be true. “You’re mad!”’, ‘Was Fendleman mad, after all?’ AND ‘Perhaps he would be able to decide if Fendleman was a scientific genius, or an obsessional madman’
32 And it’s very clear that Stael in fact has very little agency in his own destiny, even acknowledging to himself his passivity in the path his life has taken: ‘the strange events of his tormented life were moving towards their supreme climax’
33 ‘The only child of a distinguished Austrian scientist’
34 It’d be nice to try and bring in the mention of Japanese superiority in electronics (‘They say he made his money in electronics. Don’t seem likely though, do it? I mean, he ain’t Japanese...’) and turn this all into a story about Britain’s ill-tempered loss of status after the Second World War, somehow making the reference to the Prussian military while we’re at it, but it sadly seems a stretch too far
35 ‘Magic was a word for fools, of course. The truth was that there were ways of harnessing the psychic energy of the mind, of tapping the powers that ruled the entire cosmos’
36 ‘This is about different perspectives, not about laughing at the locals and their quaintly bloodthirsty Satanic covens’
Lawrence Miles and Tat Wood, About Time 4; p.175
37 ‘For once Leela did see. Magic was still a familiar part of her mental world—despite all the Doctor’s efforts’
38 ‘Leela, too restless to settle, had been keen to go off and do a little scouting around’
39 ‘Leela had gone ahead to scout out the approach to the main gate. She enjoyed that sort of thing so much he felt it was a pity to deprive her’
40 ‘She reached automatically for her knife, and then remembered the Doctor’s views. Slipping ghost-like up behind him, she struck a quick, chopping blow. The guard fell. Leela caught the body […]. She felt rather proud of herself—she was really getting quite civilised!
41 ‘in the hands of Chris Boucher, her creator, Leela has regressed into a character who is all savage huntress tics and amoral misunderstandings’
Toby Hadoke and Robert Shearman, Running through Corridors 2; p.293
42 ‘Tom Baker and Louise Jameson […look…] like two preposterous mainstays from a popular family BBC show invade an adult drama’
Toby Hadoke and Robert Shearman, Running through Corridors 2; p.293
43 ‘the Doctor not only being sidelined from the adventure, but also not understanding what the tone of the adventure is […] he’s being punished for his irreverence, but also for his irrelevance’
Toby Hadoke and Robert Shearman, Running through Corridors 2; p.294
Height Attack
The Doctor is ‘a tall, casually dressed man’, while Stael is ‘Tall and imposing’
Dicksisms
We get ‘a police box that was not a police box at all’ but no wheezing and no groaning despite all the coming and going
Are You Sitting Comfortably..?
‘The skull, of course, said nothing’
‘Neither man was aware that, if the Doctor’s estimate was correct, there would soon be a temporal implosion that would destroy their planet’
Proto-L’Officier
‘The robot dog was called K9. In reality a mobile self-powered computer with defensive capabilities, K9 had been presented to the Doctor by his creator and first owner, Professor Marius’
Miscellania
Just rather nice: ‘Dusk was falling, and the road was dark and lonely. Wakening owls hooted mournfully in the shadowy tree-tops’
As is: ‘Leakey was Adam Colby’s dog, a scruffy old Labrador. His name was partly a tribute to the famous anthropologist, partly a reference to an unfortunate habit of occasionally forgetting his house-training’
‘The eyes were enormous, filling the
entire centre of the face like those of
some great insect’
Double entendre: ‘He fell back […]
and gave one last terrible death-cry
as the life-force was sucked out of
him’
Dicks the firebrand returns!: ‘He
[Fendleman] was breaking the law,
but that didn’t matter; he was rich
enough to get away with it’
The experience of being the Doctor’s
friend: ‘With an exasperated sigh,
Leela followed’
And his better side: ‘Leela smiled.
She rather enjoyed the Doctor’s
occasional displays of childish bad temper’
To sum up: ‘Leela smiled. How could you describe someone as complicated as the Doctor?’
Leela’s costume change feels very script-to-page, doesn’t it. The new outfit doesn’t even get described,
so it might just be a distraction technique on the Doctor’s part, ‘It’s the old one’ simply meaning it’s the
same one as when he last complimented her
Dicks tidies up the mysterious figure who releases the Doctor from captivity in the broadcast episodes –
‘someone unlocks the door from the outside and it swings open’ (chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/15-3.htm):
‘The Doctor gave the door a hearty kick. There was a tinkle of shattered metal, and it swung open. He
must have weakened some vital part of the lock after all, and the kick had done the rest’
He also sorts out where all the guards go: ‘There was no sign of any security guards. Stael had sent them all back to London’
And makes the disposal of the skull sound a little more meticulous, the Doctor’s plan to ‘find a star about to go supernova and dump it in the vicinity’ (chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/15-3.htm) now the slightly more reassuring ‘Look for a star about to go super-nova and then dump it in the middle’
He’s a bit less successful with the Tylers though, bafflingly turning Jack from tea-maker – TYLER: I'll put the kettle on, Gran, eh? (chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/15-3.htm) – to tea-demander: ‘Jack Tyler mopped his brow and said plaintively, “Put the kettle on, Gran, eh?”’
The classic series in a nutshell: ‘The Doctor sighed. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t used to being locked up. Sometimes it seemed the inevitable first step wherever he appeared’